Back in grade 12, when I had to decide where to go for university, I was facing the hardest decision I had to take in my life yet (I know might seem silly)!Stay home and commute for 2 hours one way to the closest university or move out and be on my own for the first time in my life. A lot of young people face the same dilemma but it’s a completely different story when you’re coptic. Moving out meant that I have to figure out a way to get to church every Sunday by myself. I have to remind myself to fast and stick to it, in a dinning hall where the only edible thing is a pepperoni Pizza. I’ll have to maintain my prayer and bible reading habits in an environment where barley anyone else does.
I prayed long and hard about it and finally I decided to move out. First year: I was in an all girls dorm and I managed to make some friends. However no matter how a coptic person attempts to blend in an environment, we usually stick out. soon enough my friends started asking me about why I don’t do this or that. They also were confused about why I never come out of my room on Saturday nights (I usually would sing Tasbeha in my room) or why I am only vegan at certain times in the year. I am not saying that my friends were all about party and drinking, matter of fact, they were all practicing christians but everyone wanted a little of the “college experience”. I wish the story just ended here and Jesus decided to take me to him as a tasbeha-loving-bible-preaching-girl, but it didn’t. It’s a struggle! I am a girl with ambition, I work hard and I want to be someone in this world and want to go to heaven at the end of the day. I am working for earthy success for the glory of God, so people can point at me and notice how well he has taken care of me because alone I am totally incapable. I am working for spiritual success to be with Him forever. It’s a great balancing act indeed!
This blog is going to be about my struggles in my worldly and spiritual life. it’s going to be about the many defeats and victories that a lot of coptic youth, who are outside of their homes, face everyday. I am mostly going to tackle the dilemma of being a young women who is chasing after her dreams, career wise, and chasing after God’s heart at the same time.
Pray for me,